In Memoriam

Phyllis, my youngest sister, died last week.  I was asked to speak at the memorial.  I have enclosed my notes below.

My sisters Ann, Corinne who passed in 2016, and Phyllis, who passed last week.

Selected Verses from Isaiah 25 and 26

On this mountain (Zion), the LORD Almighty will prepare a feast of rich food for all peoples: a banquet of aged wine, the best meats and the finest of wines.  And on this mountain, the LORD will destroy the shroud that envelops all peoples, that pall that covers all nations; for the LORD God will devour death and will wipe away the tears from every face. Thus says the LORD, “Your dead will live; their bodies will rise.You who grieve, awake and shout for joy!” 

Oh, it is hard to shout for joy today but as I acknowledge to those closest to her, David, Doug, Karen and your families, the grandchildren and great grandchildren, you can rest in that consolation.  The pall that caused Phyllis pain and discomfort all these years is gone.  She rests in the comfortable arms of the Lord.

I have been asked by the Stueckle family to speak to the early years.  Well, to begin with, there we 8 of us born to Gunder and Betty Aune.  Here are the birth years:

CORINNE    1930                            ANN    1932

PHYLLIS   1935                               BUD    1937

GENE 1940                                        JOHN   1941

NORM   1947                                   DWIGHT 1954         

If you do the math you can deduce that our mother gave birth for 24 years.  And all 10 of us lived in a small 3 bedroom, 1 bathroom house,  I guess 1000 to 1200 square feet, located on the Hay road.  There was also a bunkhouse for “the boys” as they got older, that was approximately 200 sq feet, a sink and shower but no bathroom.  But in the throngs of winter, and in those early years, it was Mom and Dad in one bedroom, the 3 girls in a double bed in another bedroom, and 4 boys in bunk beds and a double bed in a “lean to” bedroom that barely had room to walk between the beds.  That would leave one infant in a crib somewhere.  With no slight intended toward our Catholic and Mormon friends, acquaintances of mine in Puyallup where I now live, on learning of my many siblings, have asked, “Catholic?  Mormon?”    My reply has been, “No, just passionate Protestants.”

Now some were gone to college (ie Corrine left for PLU just after I was born), but the house was extremely crowded.  As a result we all spent a lot of time outdoors, Phyl, no exception.  I have to admit I have few memories of Phyl when I was a youngster.  She was 12 when I was born so my memories of her is her going off to PLU, then LBI (Lutheran Bible Institute, then in Issaquah)  She came home in 1954 to help Mom.  Our dad had already had a debilitating heart attack, but not debilitating in a way as our youngest, Dwight was born that year.  Phyl helped with the care of Dwight, helped mom, who had her own health challenges, and renewed her acquaintance with Dave.  They were married in 1955.

But before those years, the rest of my older siblings have memories that they shared with me:

Ann shares that Phyl loved the outdoors and spent a lot of time riding horse and gardening.  I’m sure each of you children and grandchildren are not surprised at that.  Phyl also enjoyed going down to the creek to gather tadpoles in the late spring.  She’d keep them in a glass jar, feeding them soda crackers until they began to form as frogs.   Then she’s let them go, we think.  Mom often dressed Phyl and Ann in similar clothes and often people would get them mixed up.  Ann also shares to this day that people will see her and greet her with “Hi Phyl.”  Ann is also thankful for the many times that Dave and Phyl chauffeured her around in recent years, taking Ann to many family and community events.

Bud shares that he rescued Phyl at least twice.  Once, on the place they lived before I was born, Phyl and Bud went into the chicken house and let the door slam behind them.  The outside latch fell as it slammed and the door was locked.  The window and chicken portal to the outside pen too small for Bud to get his youngster body through, They stayed with the chickens for “a long time” yelling for help until Dad did hear them and rescued them.  The other rescue occurred again in the chicken house, this time on the farm where I grew up.  The family was sitting down to dinner, the entire group as was the custom, and mom asked, “Where’s Phyl?”  Bud went out and found Phyl in the chicken house.  Now Phyl had been instructed by Dad how to skillfully but firmly extricate the hens from the nest so as to access the eggs.  Well, apparently Phyl had encountered a uncooperative hen whose habit was to peck at those trying to retrieve her eggs.  In Phyl’s persistence she did battle with the hen for perhaps an hour.  When Bud entered the chicken house he found Phyl, armed with a stick.  No one remember how the situation was resolved but I can imagine the hen did not win.

Gene has fond memories of how Phyl, when our mother needed constant assistance in the mid 1980’s and was living with Gene and Lola, Phyl was the first one to come to Gene and Lola’s aide when they needed to go out.  Gene said Phyl, who answered every beckon call, was extremely helpful.  Gene also recalled recently sitting in the Lacrosse Tavern having dinner with Lola (the only place in Lacrosse to eat at that time) and see Phyl walk in.  Gene shares that eating dinner with Dave and Phyl under large posters of young  ladies holding a can of beer  was quite unnerving.

John shares that the boys learned to drive at a young age.  I remember driving a wheat truck at age 12 after learning to drive the Jeep at 10.  The “boys” were probably more prone to drive at a young age.  The “girls” though not so.  When Phyl was 16 her job was to take the harvest lunch over to the Miller place, land that Dad farmed a few miles from the house.  The “boys” went along in the old pickup and, Phyl, still mastering the 3 speed standard stick shift on the column, stopped at the bottom of the Carlson hill, putting it in low so she didn’t have shift half way up the hill.  The “boys” teased Phyl unmercifully.  Phyl like to experiment with cooking.  She once made a scratch recipe of brownies with peppermint candy and it didn’t set.  Since it was still tasty and sweet, the solution was to pour it over ice cream. The boys were unmerciful and going so far as to spread the brownies all over their elbows and naming the concoction “elbow grease.”

In all these situations, and many more, there is the common theme of family and sometime unmercifully, but still honest and unwavering love.

The most vivid example of this is perhaps the most popular of Bible verses, John 3:16.   “For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son.”  What a sacrifice.  We all try the best we can to extend our love.  We all love in our own way, to the best of our ability.  Sometimes we fail.  Some times our efforts are misconstrued.  Phyl’s efforts to love are extremely evident.  And today I speak mainly to David, Doug, Karen, and your loved ones.   Our loved one, who has now passed from this stage of life, has left us a legacy of love, something that should warm your life and carry you forward.  She carried forth a life rooted in the words and actions of our dear Jesus Christ.  She led a life of sacrifices but a life full, meaningful and enriching.

I leave you one more thought

From: I Thessalonians 4

Now we would not want you to be ignorant, brothers and sisters, regarding those who have died; so that you may grieve, but not as those who have no hope.  For we believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God take to heaven those who have died, believing in Jesus.

May God comfort and even bless the Stueckle family in their grieving.  And may their grieving rest in the comfort of a life lived in faith and love.